Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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