shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
