:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
