Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she peed on how many people?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
