did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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