Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
