sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
