im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
