he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
