Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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