i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
