we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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