she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
