I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
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