I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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