And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
