I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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