I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
