HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
