that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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