its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
