Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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