I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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