I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My vagina is very pro this idea
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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