Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
