his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
