Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
