I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
