The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
