How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
