i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
