Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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