I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
His hands were made for my vagina.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
