the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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