Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
