Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
