I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
