Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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