he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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