so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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