If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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