Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
