i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
