You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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