so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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