Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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