The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
