I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
