I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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