Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
