i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
