she looked like the before picture.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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